There is lot of people been into mental health for long time and very common to us. They are just thought and strange states in their life. That is trigger unexpecting.

Let me tell you two stories. One is real in my life. Other is on TV show.

My friend, JL (blessed her name) is wonderful girl I ever met since we were camping. We were kids and mates in different sections. We grow up and I have no idea about her until I met her again. She told me about her foster parents and biological parents. I knew about her foster parents mostly of time, but her biological parents were interesting to meet in later of years. Anyway, she been missing for a while and met my brother, also dating him for short time. I got chance to talk with her and not aware about her feelings against foster parents. She talked like everything is good and happy in her life. I believe her.

Once, we graduated our high school (her school in Benton, TX and mine in Dallas, TX) We did not see each other until we are in late of 20s. I am two years older than her. She surprised me in her different looks. She seems like she was in wild side, not in plain girl. Our talking is the same as before. She got me into gay bar and learned about her. She took me to private chat in the car. She told me everything about her foster parents and it was painful to see her being suffering. I asked her about her biological parents and chance to meet them. Dad is dealer and Mom is nurse. Both are different than normal parents I have met. Her sister and brother are half by her mom. She has real brother who is 16 years younger than her by both parents.

Okay, let’s say. Her foster parents are high class and very respectful. She told me her feeling against are disobeyed, disrespects, and destroy her life. She wanted normal family and friends. She does not want those kinds of people where her family sociable. She told them she is super gay and had girlfriend. They kicked her out of house and moved to her biological mom’s home. Her mom accepted her as who she is. Her girlfriend started to hurt her and decide to break up. She fears that her girlfriend follows her anywhere, so she starts to hang with gay friends to avoid her girlfriend. Those years, she been spreading with her biological family and friends in Dallas. She saw me and took me, so I accepted her as my girlfriend. She keeps looking around over her shoulder, I told her to relax because she is with friends now.

All years, I been with her and off. I still watch out for her no matter what. She decided to drop me as girlfriend relationship and accepted to one girl who always wanted her so to let her go. Her girlfriend become my butch friend and asked me many questions about her. WHY? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT CAN I MAKE HER HAPPY? many questions. I become overwhelmed with all that. I felt so heartbroken about her because I can see her life become nothing. One day, I went out to picnic with them and saw what JL did and her girlfriend screams. I walk slowly to her and try to calm her down. JL knows me for many years and I always softer heart to people. Her girlfriend saw me what I did to her. JL wanted to kill herself for her life. I told her DON’T because she has life and friends have her, etc. She kept look over her shoulder to see if her old girlfriend followed her. I looked around no one, just me and her girlfriend. I know I hate being third wheel. Other day, I went to the park with friends. Her girlfriend asked me to watch her. I walk to her and see what she is doing over there. We chatted just fine but in the few minutes, she wanted to kill herself. I shake my head as no but same time, her girlfriend ran back to her and thanked me for watch her. She pushed her girlfriend away and try to jump into sewer. Her girlfriend looks at me like WHAT DO YOU DID? I shake my head because she had mental issue at the minutes. She has us stand front of her. Her girlfriend pulls her out from sewer and asked me to help. I helped her but not the way she wanted. She fights us. I am very emotional person – Thank you to Cancer sign.

Few years later before her time. She looked happy and exciting. Her girlfriend hoped that would help her felt better. I had guts something wrong but gave her good positives. Couple years later, I have moved to St Louis and left her alone with her girlfriend. Then a year later, I learned that my grandpa passed away, so I come down to Texas for funeral to be with family. That week, my friend JL killed by hit and ran. I tried to learn how she ended up killed. Gladly, my friend sends me articles about her killed and realized she WANTED her life to be END. I knew her for many years, and no one understands her. I saved those articles in my book.

HOW? Her dad and her girlfriend are the dealers. They are partner for a while. She knew the drugs are WRONG, but she been into deal with her dad. She has no choice and accepts her dad because she loves him so much. So, she took one of those to make her relax. She wanted to walk out during the night quiet. She walks across the middle of street and car hits her. The car did not see her because the street dark. The driver turned around to check on her, she told the driver and girlfriend to leave her alone. She has several sick issues in her system and wanted to suffer to die. The driver called 911 and told them what happening that it was run and hit accident. Her girlfriend tries to save her, but she pushed her away, wanted to leave her alone to go her life end. She passed away on the scene. Her skull, back, and legs are broken by her disease at birth.

That was no expecting happens. She wanted it to be END her life like that.

~ DW