Let’s say this short and sweet.

Flashback, when a kid stands and other kids stare at the kid. Oh I can tell how kid feels uncomfortable because other kids stares. Their parents told their kids, “Don’t stare at people is RUDE” I know it is hard to not stare much as we can. Sometimes have to stare at or can be drooling. Hehe.

Okay, now as adult stands and other people stare at adult. Sure, felt like shit, right?!? What do they think? Am I look like mental retard? Is my hair not straight? Is my makeup too much? Am I crazy? Many comments to say.

Jealously? No?

Here I come. “How rude you look at me real hard? How I look like? Dumb and Deaf?” I got this million times. I would slap the person out of my face. I not know why they look at me like body scanning, my eyes twinkling or my ear burns.

All I can say…Stare is RUDE.

~ DW

Just watch of reruns from Fact of Life episodes, Less than perfect. I never think about hearing this part till explaining about her beauty and scar. I had remembered when I was toddler and model for display girl in small town. I been up and make few trips to meet events on runway with beauty pageants. After a couple year later, I had golf accident happened.

I never understand about being model as toddler but got the experience from modeling. As I am adult now, understanding the model is not easy thing. Hehe.

Okay, here is the story. I was only 5 years old and took me to family golf courses with friends. My childhood friend is only 4 years old himself. I was so active kid and want everything on my own because I am only child! Hehe. Anyway, my dad and his friend playing golf somewhere, I don’t know. My friend and I were with our mothers at one mound of golf course. I take my time to hit the ball, my mom refused let me go first so let him hit the ball. I walked to the hole and stand with my arms crossed my chest. My mom said “move away from the hole” so I did walk little back up near enough. I stand there and not see anything happens. I barely remember what I saw but explained to me after the happens. Poor little boy hit the ball but not know how much high he hit. He is on my left side and I am standing near to the hole. I turned my head to left and the ball hits my forehead! My left forehead starts hurt and bleed a lot. I stand like stubborn, yelled at my mom, “now I wanted to play golf!” She looked at me like child has bad attitude and stubborn. My mom kneels and told me, “you are bleed everywhere and can’t play golf!” I barely remembered because my forehead hurts more than my stubborn.

My dad found out about me being hit and injury so friends/family took me to ER to clean up bleed. Guess what ER doctor sew my left forehead up to about 7 stitches and suggestion do the cosmetic surgery on my forehead. I never think of it unless we are talking about it. My forehead acted up to warns me, “I am up here.” My scar never showed much and bump isn’t, too. My forehead scar always peace and reminder. My beauty is alive and enjoying the show. Everyone loves my looks, don’t know anything about my another scars over my body! Winks.

~ DW

There is no motivation around me and would like have someone to motivation with me. It is hardest for me to handle with my parents and my own space. They offered me to stay on 2nd floor and all 3 rooms wall to wall limited from my space area. I can’t stand it at all. They had good space area on 1st floor.

Each time they are away from house and I come down. Had good peace and less of anxiety from up there. I could walk around and do errands there. Hiking, walking, skating or biking is good thing for me to go out and better motivation by myself. Up there is very limited and made me feel mental and anxiety.

My ring told me “keep going” and true to it because I am over 40s and also need get myself motivation. I am glad that I had kickball game league come up and working while the weeks. Exercises is on my mind and write much I can. Chat with friends are great but no one there. My parents are quietly people and not much to talk about. I have to pick up the subject then talk about it then stopped daily.

Have this mental health without motivation.

Love to chat with people, doing thing together, or exercising too.

~ DW

Look over the historical of the past in 1800s to 1900s year. All different of wars histories in the world. England, Germany, Russia, France and Japan. Where all honors history in different continents? Indians tribes? National cemeteries? We felt honored to cherish them in historical years. Now we had to destroy their honored historical like they are NOTHING to us. Our history ancestors are stuck in our life and looked over our family that was immigration and were fight that wars. Now we not have special war that we fight is gone. All we are fighting is racism, riot and hate crime. That historical is different then civil wars, North/South or WWII historical in 1800s and 1900s are gone.

Many great grandparents (ancestors) usually had words that kids not like because think all words are BAD word. We, adults used their words and we change to correct words for kids because it can be misunderstanding in through the years like N word or G word. Those words were nice word and always saying things nice but now it is removed. If look at old movies, black/white pictures and they will said those words often in good ways. Great grandparents (ancestors) not see it bad. Kids doesn’t like them because those words are hurts. Like all bible has original scripts in B.C. Yes, Hebrew or whatever language. Men does write different languages for us to understand in through years. All words changing to different meaning from scripts to theory. That is alike ideas with N words or G words meaning to them are different than great grandparents (ancestors) theory.

ASL (America Sign Language) was been corrections for many years, not only you or anyone on the earth. ASL always new to them. Original sign language from France 1800s and carrying around in different sign language. Indians does use the sign language because not know any languages when immigration comes in. The great grandparents (ancestors) use OLD sign language and many times, kids correction them for wrong signs. Yes, it is alike words bad or bible scripts changes.

I can understand where you angry but that facts. We are losing historical and our great grandparents (ancestors) are gone. We are into NEW historical and learning from it. Human Lives Matter!

~DW

Flashback from my previous post, about coach over job opportunities and encourage.

You would think I am bad at encourage methods? Okay, what about counseling? I am not professional counselor but can coaching people. People made few choice of their life or lifestyle so I am not pushing them into my life. No way. I only just to be coach and encourage them where they want to be.

Like my coach stated me about job opportunities or softball that I had played for years. It is encourage YOU and support YOU, not counseling thingy. My softball years does showed me where I done wrong and right. There was supporting me to go for it and goal wins. In fact, not happens but I did successes in my own eyes, not by mom or by coach. MY OWN EYES. Same thing with job opportunities that support your goal success by coaching or by manager. I see on my own eyes, yeah again.

Well. That’s life!

~ DW

I was asked the coach for my next job resume and had noticed that I been correction myself for years. Ahh, I knew it better than anyone knows in my life! I been pushed myself to higher level but people in my work area doesn’t see it. They was so improved with my work and kept stay in my original title so become difficult for me to handle as same level for years.

The coach gave me a take of advantage ideas of my encourage with my job and people. Okay, let me say first on job. Many times, people who worked with me think I have DA (Disability Application) that limited to my job. Which is not right because I never had DA in my life while employs years. People not know that! No one. I repeat NO ONE knows. I not know about other DA people myself either. I never let my Deafness interrupted my job work. I was able to be titled to Executive Entry Level and had lot of experience with manage office duties. I forced myself to lower level since no one accepted my job opportunities.

Okay, secondly, People I have been encourage to be successes on their life and lifestyle. I remembered when I was young, tried to help with one friends of mine with her life struggled and seemed not work for her. I guess it was her mind and body doesn’t not fit her well. Of course, we both are young and new to adulthood year. We played softball together and wanted alike me because I am skinny and lean muscle. Then later on, I have gymnastics friend who has bulimia nervosa and wanted to be normal life. I had encouraged her to stay fit and eat rightly. She been gymnastics for ages but now she isn’t due to her illness relate nervosa issue. In my older year, had friend who is eating disorder and overweighed. She is sport person herself, too. Her mind and body doesn’t fit her well, too. Again, encouraged her stay fit, make communication positive and eat rightly, too. All girls are strong but their mind and body are not primary in their life.

I been struggled in my life myself too. I encouraged myself with my anxiety and mental spirit. One year, I lost weigh about 10 lbs. and become sick then took me to ER turned out there is no food in me for few days. My former roommates does not share meals with me. They left no food at home and made me survived. I gained back to my original weight but my age become older made my body struggles with meals and exercise daily changes than I have usually had when I was young. I still do biking, walking, skating, swinging, kicking, throwing and dancing. Keep Body and Mental Health going on job and route daily.

Anything adds???

~ DW

I have problem with computer that make file from my video in system was not realize my file anymore.  I cant downloading or editing my vlogs as ASL (America Sign Language) off from this site.

I could edit my video from my phone but it will be different to read closed caption if you would have wear glasses!  LOL

Just let you know for ahead of articles from me.

Smiles, DW

Not like to use the “bad” words so use different words.  Why socks at home?  Is because of COVID-19 starts since February but no one knows till March after learning the virus from China.  Wish they has sense to tell us before too late, all I know they wore masks all the time but not knowledge that they are illness from allergy, somewhere in air or germs. Yes, we have air, germs, and allergy somewhere!  Worldwide has it!

If we know then get the result quick but slow to goal where it support to be successful.  No, we did not get resources yet.  Little by little.  More and more people getting them and passing others.  Sigh.

All I can say for now.

~ DW

This is tough to tell you that deaf been into struggle about future like normal people does.   In the years, worked in summer job project and saw deaf workers at government building as data entry or computer jobs.  I was clerical for the summer at government. Also, deaf residents at the center were on social security income while I was on summer job project there where I met at.

When graduated high school, gone to university or college.  You know we try to get major with desired for the future.  No one has that, right?   Many people has been changing many times but graduated with whatever title on it.   Yes, deaf has been gone to university or college too.  All jobs are worse for them because whenever they get degree on whatever titled on it and hired them as janitor or stocker instead of engineer or executive.   Many people thinks deaf can’t do like normal people does.  Deaf is alike normal person but HEAR.  Now there is lot of accessions, no excuse to reject them.  It could be discrimination against.

I met few deaf who use the SSI and part time jobs, I know one person has degree from college but work part time at Wal Mart as warehouse worker.   Many deaf are on SSI because they are jobless and not able to find a job for their life.  The center where deaf resident there,  I met one of my deaf classmates in school years.   She has kids and on SSI, has not finished college.  She was so happy to have SSI because of kids.  I know deaf people not happy without job or SSI because it is hard for them make life.   Their parents?  Their life with deaf kids are not alike normal people does.  The kids are like foster kids because they went to deaf school with housemother there.  When kids go home to visiting their parents and no communication…it is hard for them to life like that.  I am lucky to have parents who supports me all the life, went to normal school like kids and worked as administrative.

Yes, I have struggled with work and life, too.  Why? When I was laid off from company and try to find another job, rejected me because I am deaf.   I kept working on find me a job but ended up work as porter.  Only job I can do that without fighting for it.   I have no degree but has so many credits from college and university that never finished.  I worked in office for more than 25 years and gone to school in flexible time so never finished.   Do I have SSI?   I have SSI when I was in high school and one year at university.   It stopped because I have highest income at work.   I once have SSDI (social security disabled) but it found me work full time, punished me so have to pay them back.  I know accident because work comes up before SSDI notice in same time.  I did not excepted that happens.  My life?  Life is pretty good and kept eye on.   I have been planned for the future when my retirements comes in.  I am so forward in that.

~ DW

I just learned from one deaf woman who wrote about her experience on train  transportation  to other.   I wanted to give away one thing about train, airplane or cab transportation around the world….not just USA only.  West, East, South and North where you name that.

One year, that my old frame who lives in New York for university there.  He is deaf and brave young man.  He told me once that subway never stops and keep going so he had jump off with his friends.  His deaf friends warned him about New Yorkers been fast and too many people among around like ants.  He had alot of challenge in his life.  He was so happy about learning how the hearing people deals with those issues.

I had few friends who are disability related to blind or wheelchair.  They can’t walk FASTER or need some guide.  Impossible for them go to subway that goes fast and need something to stop completely to allow them get on or get off from transportation.  They had to hold the line (wire thing that hanging) to make sure they get off easily.  No way, make that happens.  I have attached from my previous article from my post about ADA.

I never had problem with using the subway in Midwest because I always attention to where I am going.  There have name on each station when got on and get off.  When I was riding and watch scenery outside and become familiar then get off easily before.  My friend on wheelchair and need to get to front of train.  Driver sees us and stop completely for us to get on or get off.  Same thing with blind person stands front of train.  Disability related always stands front.  If you happens see the sign said handicapped on front and go toward it to stand front before get on.

European, Asian and South American had different places that will allow you blind or deaf because there is no way to reach out or not familiar then lost.  Need to make sure get right places where you want to visit.  Many transportation are roughly and crowded.  Impossible to get on or get off.  You lost.  Would prefer to take someone with you and get right places to get off.  One year, I was in Oregon for deaf conference and went to downtown on the subway as nice and sit down then get off easily.  When the conversation finishes.  People try to get on train same time and really crowded.  I am short and stand up faced to door.  No fun!  I had hold rail on between the door and me.  Crowded is roughly and no way to sit or uncomfortable when moving.

Airport gates has front of line for disability related.  Train gates has it.  Cab?  One year, in Las Vegas, we get the cab service at airport and the usher saw us.  One was on wheelchair and three of us walking together.  We were signing too.  Usher told us to move to handicapped area but cab was been forever to get wheelchair van to pick four all of us.  It was so bored and wait forever to catch.

Sure there is more to discuss about.

– DW